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Oh man, I am so excited for you.

You are about to experience the magic that is Unicorn Poop Unicorn Crack! What exactly is Unicorn Poop Unicorn Crack, you may be wondering? If you took your average Rice Krispies Treat, doused it in fairy dust and sparkle magic, and bathed it in liquid gold, you maaaay get something nearly as amazing as Unicorn Poop Unicorn Crack.

As we all know, unicorns feed on a steady diet of double rainbows and high-end chocolate. They also love to nibble on bits of marshmallow clouds late at night (unicorns get munchies too).

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not all play and no work for unicorns. When they need to get down to biznaz, roasted salted peanuts give unicorns the protein boost they need to kick some major ass. And that subtle buzz of coffee you’ll detect? Yep, unicorns are caffeine fiends.

These chocolate-y, marshmallow-y, peanut-y treats are so good, only a breathtakingly magical creature like a unicorn could have created it.

Unicorn Poop @lickmyspoon

Unicorn Poop Unicorn Crack

You may not be able to tell from this photo, but up close and in person, you’ll find yourself commenting on the notable size of these babies — unicorns are large, strapping, majestic creatures, and therefore produce majestic-sized poops, obviously.

* Note: Unicorn Poop Unicorn Crack has been locally foraged. No magical creatures were harmed in the process. Delicate mystical ecosystems have been left in pristine condition.

What was that? You wish you had some Unicorn Poop Unicorn Crack in your hands right now? We can make that happen. I’ve launched a storefront on Zaarly with the hopes of bridging the gap between having you read about tasty treats and having you EAT tasty treats.

UNICORN POOP…best sh*t ever.
UNICORN CRACK…sh*t’s addictive!

Update (07/02/13): I’ve re-named my magically tasty treats to Unicorn Crack…because Unicorn Poop was taken. (Apparently there is a trademark on it and I’ve been asked to cease and desist. True story.) So let there be no confusion, I’m now slinging Unicorn Crack. Mom would be so proud.

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